yellowpigeon

feverparty @ 2009-11-18T20:26:00

2009-11-18T12:26:51Z

I'm very tired.

Ich bin mich mehr nichts?

2009-10-08T09:53:05Z

ich hab euch etwas mitgebracht
hab es aus meiner Brust gerissen

It was painfully obvious something was wrong. I mean, painfully. I was literally bleeding with stress and anger/discomfort. But when someone finally showed concern and asked me if I was okay, it was all I could do to say something remotely close to my problem. This was it, a chance to tell someone that something's wrong with me. I looked at that person and I imagined myself telling them everything.

And yet, all that I could muster was a weak,
"Yeah. I'm just tired."

Sigh. Another day in, another day out. Rein, raus.

I wish I could be happy (or at least emotionally stable, like today), everyday for the rest of my life.

Sie kommen zu euch in der Nacht
Dämonen Geister schwarze Feen

(PS. I dreamt that Xiaxue has invisible messages all over her blog, you know the type where people blank out their text (like that) thinking no one will be smart enough to highlight it and read their secrets? Yeah HAHA I dreamt that XX uses that all over her blog and she referred to it as 'the old childish way' or something like that. OKAY so random haha *quickly goes to XX's blog and highlights every blank space I can find*)

feverparty @ 2009-10-06T18:56:00

2009-10-06T10:56:41Z

i'm not going to lament like a child who just figured out first-hand that the world is full of people who are constantly unhappy with her, and who don't necessarily make it known the nice, un/subtle way.

I'll just say, I know. And it's not that I don't care, I just

Yeah i don't really give a shit.

Math time! Poe too. one month to A Levels, it's time to make some wine out of fresh grapes. (:

feverparty @ 2009-09-18T23:00:00

2009-09-18T15:13:10Z

I spent my life sitting on the wall where I lost myself right before the fall
All the king’s horses all the king’s men could never ever put me back together again

I love Circus Of Dead Squirrels.

So omg, FINALLY the end of prelims! But this marks the perilous journey towards the BIG A... Effin' A. HAHA anyway,

OH SHOPPING! It also marks the time to shop.

FLEA TITANS 3 is happening (for the LAST TIME) at Dempsey House this Sunday, I REALLY want to go, like this much *opens arms reaaaaally wide* but the people I've asked have given me ambiguous answers *eyes them evilly you know who you are!!*

Okay so just for a bit, let's let our imaginations run really wild. Let's imagine I'm about to get some terminal disease and I only have a period of time to live.
And I've NEVER been to a FT event before. And I REALLY want to go.
And I only have that amount of time to live.
DON'T YOU FEEL THE COMPELLING DESIRE TO BRING ME TO FLEA TITANS NOW?? :D

Okay so your answer was 'YES! OMG I DO!' so come ON what's holding you back?
(Besides the fact that I'm not gonna contract a terminal disease?)

Oh text on my phone gotta run now. Bye (:

(BE A (wo)MAN. DO THE RIGHT THING.)

Must be nice...
To work your nine to five retire and die

feverparty @ 2009-09-08T13:26:00

2009-09-08T05:36:03Z

Don't you just marvel at how some minds work? Or don't work.

I'm going to do math today, although how much it annoys me that my printer's run out of ink so I can't print and do the math paper for tomorrow. Tsk.

And it also irritates me to no end, my extremely messy room, I feel like shooting myself everytime I step in. I have to literally maneouver around the debris and the table to get around. The Procrastinator side of me has been putting it off and will continue to do so until end-prelims (gotta sort out notes before A's), but the Anal Bitch side of me wants to bitch-slap the Procrastinator because it's about to faint from the disgusting mess. This is an OCD victim's nightmare, but I'm not exactly OCD by default...

I need more tshirts and jeans. And those gorgeous bangles I saw at Divaaaa.

I hate compound interest.

iconoclastic!

2009-04-21T14:59:11Z

As you've probably realised I am terribly inactive on LJ, so please go to MY BLOGGER BLOG instead okay thanks! :D

(I just changed the skin and I LOVE IT although I will design a nicer and more personalised one after A's :D )

{EDIT}
The link was previously uh broken, yeah I've fixed it.
So get your butts over there (:

feverparty @ 2009-03-14T21:32:00

2009-03-14T13:35:14Z

what makes me happy, is riffs, awesome riffs.

and screaming.

<3

i need to stay back in school one day and just study, study, study.

and i need to stop swearing so much!

feverparty @ 2009-01-31T12:02:00

2009-01-31T04:04:29Z

there's nothing more for me to say.

i guess i'll just fade into the background now.

fade...

drugs

2009-01-29T13:03:28Z

I know I've done this like 37468375 times but i'm doing it again :D

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
ready fuels - anberlin

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
a letter from janelle - chiodos
(we make the sun shine...)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
africa - toto
(no i dont feel very africa today. in fact i feel sorta american.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
run right back in - armor for sleep
(what?)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
your friends are gone - circa survive
(no! D: )

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
pins and needles - billy talent
(they used to see me as a cactus...)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
post script - finch

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
words to me - sugar ray
(whose? haha)

WHAT IS 2+2?
ink - finch
(uh...)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
back where we belong - the last goodnight

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
living together - circa survive
(LOL yeah SURE wanna live together?)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
the greatest lie - circa survive
(yep. my entire life, a living lie. hahahahaha!)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
i dont want to miss a thing - aerosmith
(uh...)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
moment - aiden
(ok, lol)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
stop and stare - onerepublic

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
saccharine smile - donots
(more like shred to it right? lol)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
the ghost of you - my chemical romance
(YEAH THEY WILL! :D )

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
chelsea dagger - the fratellis

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
bullimic - the used
(YES like a LOT of them haha!)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
incomplete - the last goodnight

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
du hast - rammstein

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
do what you want - ok go
(huh? lol no i dont!)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
helena - my chemical romance
(no it does NOT! D: D: )

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
stockholm syndrome - blink 182
(ahahaha)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
we'll live and die in these towns - enemy
(lol)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
seven years - saosin
(hmm.)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
its not ok - enemy

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
plays pretty for baby - anthony green/zolof the rock and roll destroyer

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
i miss you - blink 182
(haha if it hurts that much, sure.)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
drugs - the music
(ok.)

MO FAR KOR (flowerless fruit LMAO)

2009-01-17T12:58:47Z

I'M SO FAG HAPPY TODAY!
I'M LITERALLY ON FAG MODE! :D :D

Went out with fag to queensway. i was supposed to get my band tees printed and him, his mcr skelly hoodie.

but alas, life is a bitch and we met complication after complication. in short, costs were either too high, or the services just didn't render ):

sorry fag. ):
(oh but do tell me if you're able to purchase straight from the official merch store okay!)

i'm still thinking of whether i should go with the $13 deal. it's very worth it.

but anyway! so we combed through the whole mall, often digressing at shops that had skateboards, shin pads, hockey sticks, jerseys or AWESOME VANS SHOES, but we didn't get what we were looking for.

so we were about to give up hope and just strolled through the ground floor. fag saw this metallica shirt hanging on a rack full of other black shirts. so i was like hey, i wanna check this out. combed through the top rack, there were many band tees ranging from guns 'n' roses to paramore, and i found a the used shirt! so i excitedly grabbed it and hopped on to the bottom rack.

that's when i let go of my the used shirt and went completely bersek, because i saw THIS:

Come, scream with me! It's a fabu-fucking-lous...

SAOSIN TEE! OMFG! OMFG!
and it was the EXACT design that i saw online last night! i remember the online description, 'saosin tee with stacked cassettes print' or something like that. i remember the 'stacked cassettes' part.

BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT! the point is I GOT A BAND SHIRT AFTER ALL! and SAOSIN no less!!

so i bought it. hehe :3 it set me back $19.90 but i think it's worth it. its cheaper than if i bought it online, shipping and all.
(even my DAD tells me its worth it. like wow. but i think he didn't/couldn't object because i used MY money hehe)

so these are the only band tees i've had so far. both are >saosin merchandise. :D

alright that's it for now. i need to alter my white tee 'cos it's too large (men's medium - BIG mistake). so ciao :]

'cos we're all a bunch of liars

2009-01-13T09:36:27Z

people have to stop dumping their problems on me. social problems, emotional problems, whatever - they all have nothing to do with me! and please tell the difference between telling someone about your problems, and DUMPING your problems on someone.

i only wish i had the courage to tell some people off. whatever that person did to you is not my fault. do i look like that person to you? apparently so that you have to treat me as a substitute and start scolding me D:

and while i understand that they can get emotional about something (bad) that happened, it doesn't mean they can put (DUMP) it all on me. my days are bad enough and i don't need any of them to make it worse!

i'm not exactly infuriated right now, i'm just... just stressed.

i need to get away from all this. i know running away from problems isn't a good solution - but fuck that, these aren't MY problems.

someone owes me an outing to far east and peninsula. where i can get my band merch. and rest in peace.

yes, rest in peace...

PS. i hate wearing earsticks because they're so sloppy and i'm afraid they might come out easily and they're just not so niceeee.

PPS. armor for sleep is a fucking awesome band.

feverparty @ 2009-01-10T22:56:00

2009-01-10T15:02:38Z

I HAVE ZILCH MOTIVATION TO START STUDYING, OR START ON MY HOMEWORK (what's the homework again?) DESPITE THE FACT THAT TESTS START ON MONDAY 120109.

happy fuckin' new year! :D and stuff that up your happy noses, this may be my last hour before I drown in a pool of mathseconslitgeoggp. and die, or something.

okthxbye.

brave new world is supposed to be mildly humorous. i hope first impressions do last...

feverparty @ 2009-01-09T22:44:00

2009-01-09T14:53:07Z

sexy rexy :]

I can't even begin to tell you how much I <3 the JURASSIC PARK trilogy. :D It's Steven Spielberg's most awesome creation ever (MY opinion take that fucking gun out of my face)!

I think I was a dinosoooor in my past few lives or something. I must have been.

and I just found out that MIKEYFUCKINWAY can't get enough of Jurassic Park too \m/

can't wait for my HT order to come. bouncy bounce

and I can't wait for the world.

but first I need to survive 2009.

"2008, I barely knew you."

more stuff of varying levels of stupidity here.

cut the cord

2009-01-06T14:03:07Z

Well I tripped, fell down, naked
Well I scratched my knees, they bled
Sew up my eyes, need no more
In our game, there is no score

Forgive me father, why should ya bother?
Try honesty, try honesty
Hop in your dump truck, reverse for good luck
Ride over me, ride over me
Take on the whole world, fight with the young girls
Die tragedy, die tragedy
Call me a cheapskate, come on for Pete’s sake
Cry agony, cry agony

I'm insane, it's your fault, so sly
Your well of lies ran dry
And I cut the cord, free fall
From so high we seem so small

Forgive me father, why should ya bother?
Try honesty, try honesty
Hop in your dump truck, reverse for good luck
Ride over me, ride over me
Take on the whole world, fight with the young girls
Die tragedy, die tragedy
Call me a cheapskate, come on for Pete’s sake
Cry agony, cry agony

I talk to you

I’m insane, it’s your fault
Cry
I’m insane, it’s your fault
Try
I’m insane, it’s your fault
Try

Forgive me father, why should ya bother now?
Forgive me father, why should ya bother now?

Forgive me father, why should ya bother
Try honesty, try honesty
Hop in your dump truck, reverse for good luck
Ride over me, ride over me
Take on the whole world, fight with the young girls
Die tragedy, die tragedy
Call me a cheapskate, come on for Pete’s sake
Cry agony, cry agony

Cry agony, cry agony
Cry agony, cry agony
Cry agony, cry agony

the unsuspecting victim

2008-12-31T03:40:43Z

Theodore Robert Cowell was born on November 24, 1946 to Louise Cowell. As a youth, Ted was terribly shy, self-doubting and uncomfortable in social situations. He was often teased and made the butt of pranks by bullies in his junior high school. Michaud analyzed Ted's behavior and decided that he was "not like other children, he looked and acted like them, but he was haunted by something else: a fear, a doubt -- sometimes only a vague uneasiness-— that inhabited his mind with the subtlety of a cat. He felt it for years, but he didn't recognize it for what it was until much later." Regardless of the humiliating experiences he sometimes suffered from being different, he was able to maintain a high grade-point average that would continue throughout high school and later into college.

In 1968, after his girlfriend graduated from the University of Washington, she broke off relations with Ted. She was a practical young woman and seemed to realize that Ted had some serious character flaws that took him out of the running as "husband material."

Ted never recovered from the break-up. Nothing, including school, seemed to hold any interest for him and he eventually dropped out, dumb-founded and depressed over the break-up. He managed to stay in touch with her by writing after she returned to California, yet she seemed uninterested in getting back together. But Ted became obsessed with this young woman and he couldn't get her out of his mind. It was an obsession that would span his lifetime and lead to a series of events that would shock the world.

Lynda Ann Healy was a very accomplished young woman. At age 21, she was a beautiful girl, tall and slim with shiny clean, long brown hair and a ready smile.
When her parents called her roommates at their University house one afternoon to find out why Lynda had not shown up for dinner as expected, everyone became worried. Nobody had seen her. She seemed to have vanished from the house. Lynda's parents called the police. In Lynda's room, they found that her bed had been made up. Lynda was not normally one to make up her bed. Oddly, a pillowcase and the top sheet were missing on this carefully made-up bed.

A small bloodstain of the same blood type as Lydna's was found on the pillow and the bottom sheet. Blood was also on her nightgown that was carefully hung in the closet. An outfit of hers was missing.

Police realized that an intruder had somehow gotten into the house, removed her nightgown and hung it in the closet, dressed her in a change of clothes, made up the bed, wrapped Lynda in the top bed sheet and carried her out of the house -- very quietly.

During that spring and summer, more women students suddenly and inexplicably vanished. There were striking similarities among many of the cases. For instance, all the girls were white, slender, single, wearing slacks at the time of disappearance, had hair that was long and parted in the middle and they all disappeared in the evening.

Also around this time, police interviewed college students who told them of a strange man who was seen wearing a cast on either his arm or leg. Supposedly, the stranger seemed to be struggling with books and asking young women nearby for assistance. Other eyewitnesses reported a strange man in the campus parking lot who had a cast and asked for assistance with his car, a VW bug that he apparently had difficulty starting. Interestingly, around the same area where two of the girls mysteriously disappeared, there was seen such a man wearing a cast on his arm or leg.

Finally, in August of 1974 in Washington's Lake Sammamish State Park, the remains of some of the missing girls were found and two were later identified -- strands of various colors of hair, five thigh bones, a couple of skulls and a jaw bone. The girls identified were Janice Ott and Denise Naslund, who disappeared on the same day, July 14th.

Many other victims followed the same fate.

Before the killings, Ted met Elizabeth Kendall, a woman with whom he would be involved for almost five years. When a close friend of Elizabeth saw a composite of the could-be-killer in the papers, she knew that Ted Bundy must be the man. It wasn't just her intense dislike and mistrust for Elizabeth's boyfriend that led her to believe that Ted was 'the man", but also the fact that he looked so much like the composite picture.

Deep down, Elizabeth must have known her friend was right. After all, Ted did resemble the sketch, he drove a VW similar to those seen by witnesses and she had seen crutches in his room even though he never injured his leg. She anonymously called the Seattle Police Department in August 1974 and stated that her boyfriend "might be involved" in the recent murder cases. She also agreed to give recent pictures of Ted, to later be shown to witnesses. However, the witnesses did not make a positive I.D. after viewing the pictures and Elizabeth's report was eventually filed away. Ted Bundy was forgotten until a few years later.

In January 1975, Caryn Campbell and her family took a trip to Colorado. Caryn hoped she could enjoy the break away from work. While relaxing in the lounge of their hotel, she realized she had forgotten a magazine and returned to their room to retrieve it. Her fiancé and the children waited for her return in vain. He knew she was a bit ill that night and went back to the room to see if she needed help. Caryn was nowhere in sight. In fact, she had never made it to the room. By mid-morning, confused and worried, her fiancé informed the police of her disappearance. They searched every room in the hotel but they found no trace of Caryn.

Almost a month later and a few miles from where she had disappeared, Caryn's nude body was found lying along a road. Animals had ravaged her body, which made it difficult to determine the precise cause of death. However, it was evident that she received crushing fractures that could have been fatal.

Like many of the victims found in Utah and Washington, she had suffered from repeated blows to the head possibly made by a sharp instrument. There was also evidence that she had been raped. Apart from Caryn's brutalized remains, there was little evidence to be found at the scene.

Police searched the Taylor Mountains where the body was found. It would be only a couple days later when another body would be discovered. The body was that of Susan Rancourt, who had also disappeared earlier that summer. The Taylor Mountains had become the burial sight for the madman known as "Ted". Two more bodies were found that month; one of them was Lynda Ann Healy. All of the victims suffered from severe head contusions from a blunt instrument, possibly a crowbar.

Police continued unsuccessfully to look for the killer. Five more women were found dead in Colorado under similar circumstances. They were not the last to fall victim to Ted's killing spree.

(Whatever happened after this remains very boring. Hehe. What you need to know is, Ted was caught, charged for a few kidnappings and murders ONLY, then he escaped, and then was recaptured.)

(He was grinning a cheshire smile at time of recapture!)

Extra bites:

Ted kept some of his victims' heads at his home as trophies. Ted also engaged in necrophilia with some of the remains of his victims. Ted's behavior could be best described as "compulsive necrophilia and extreme perversion".

The method of execution Ted faced was the electric chair.

And you must admit, serial killers are a work of art... Somehow. :D

TINTED RED

2008-12-30T06:03:11Z

In the dark, you can make yourself believe anything you want.

orgasmic.

2008-12-29T06:24:04Z

Frank is sexy. Somehow, more than Gerard.
And unquestionably more than Mikey.
But Mikey is... :D

nomikeyfuckinway, that lucky bitch! D:
(Don't worry. I'll get my fair share of backstage passes soon.)

And I <3 them drenched in blood.

take this apology,

2008-12-29T02:41:44Z

I just figured out how to do this lj-cut thing. D-oh about time? Anyway I'm having trouble and frustration making my font smaller. D: D: D:

Nothing much. Not looking forward to coming days.

okthxbye.

feverparty @ 2008-11-11T14:34:00

2008-11-11T06:45:22Z

Yes, honey, it's been a long time
How have you been today?
I'm sorry I haven't stopped by lately
Or even tried to stay

But you know it won't make a difference anyway.

Don't let the silence drown us out, because the life buoys have deflated.
Don't let your actions drown your words, because the life guards have been slaughtered.
Don't let the darkness overtake your senses, because the life support will be pulled out
in three, two, one.

Just take off these machines, they are all we are living on.
Take these misunderstandings, and send them back where they came from.
Take these candles and strike them ablaze, and escape the darkness that has engulfed us
all along.

Are you near me? Can you hear me?
Are you there at all? Do you care at all?